Monday, January 01, 2007
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2007!Spent new years countdown the caregroup and it was great yep!
I really loved the company and i'll need it even more in the future...
Lord I'll need you so much in the following year...
Thank You for holding all my tears in your bottle, Thank You for telling me You love me. Thank You for accepting me for all that i am, Thank You for accepting and telling me the things I've done wrong. Thank You for giving me Your family to rely on.
When i shattered in front of them, i almost thot i've had enough and that i've already had it. I've always been not good enough for them, never told what i'd done right, always what i had done wrong. Not trusted. Just someone who has always done it wrong, always not good enough. Just a kid who didn't get a job in the holidays. A freeloader. Someone who has always lead an easy life. I'm not mature enough to be a leader. It's true i'm inadequate, i'm not perfect, i'm not damn good like you think i think i am. I appreciate all that you guys have done for me and all these years you've raised me. I broke because you didn't know how much it hurt me. When i tried to tell u, you just said me breaking down makes me irrational. You said you didn't want to know. It hurt much more than all the beatings that you've ever given me. I rather you hit me. I'm sorry for not being good enough. But one day when i am, i know that God did it for me and that my faith is not what you think it is. This family is not what you think it is. My caregroup is not unwholesome company as you imply it to be. They show me what love is about. God told me what love is about. Jesus gave it to me for eternity. One dat maybe you'll see, I pray and can only cling on. But on this new year's, it hurt for what you said. When only God was there to give me comfort.
Falcks on 6:07 AM
