Friday, December 29, 2006

I'm exhausted.

After 3 days of camp, just two camps left and it'll be over. The sweat and blood, the trainings just pushed you to every limit you can imagine. The muscle aches still linger, but the cheers and laughter after camp were welcoming and familiar, and the signal of a welcomed rest.

In the 3 days, it was more than time with teammates laughing and slogging away, although i really got to know them better and we really sat down to talk and play and shared more happy memories albeit very tough ones haha, more than pushing ourselves to every limit, but to me, in the tough times, it really let me learn perseverence and other things in life. It made me run to Him, when i pulled myself up after the throws which wore me down, the times when breathing was tough and we were all dying, just that bit more of energy, just to finish this camp. He was in this with me, till the end. I really felt it, I saw it now i'm home in one piece.

Shepherding today was enjoyable :D. Thank shepherd for the gifts x.x haha and the lesson learnt today. Humility. Something which i struggle to draw lines and place boundaries, to sort how much is humble, how much is demeaning yourself, and how much is letting pride climb all over you. Its a fine balance, its also a tough challenge. A constant check against pride because we cannot totally overcome pride. We sin all the time, but its humility which jerks your reins, and slaps you back to reality.

Without humility, what would we learn. Once we decide, we have enough, we stop there. That's our limit. The moment we say, that's it, we crumble. But if we continue knowing our imperfections , we strive even more and achieve even more. The world's greatest cellist plays his scales everyday even in his 80s, saying that there's always more to learn. So it is for us.

Once we give up or be satisfied, we stop altogether. When we become hungry and let greed take over, we overdo it. But what we simply need is our eyes on His meter, His measure and manual, and we serve it to the best we can, with humility and perseverence, anything is possible.