Monday, August 27, 2007

Just to reminisce my two years, I've decided to post my photos randomly.... haha it feels so... sad somehow...Clouded skies...
Jeriel :) Go home buddy with the timeless look
I'll always remember this goal, i refuse to call it a dream. :)
Dramafeste '07 - a beauty
CA3--- need i say more, the people i cherish with my life :)
Mortal! haha i can never forget mortal and all the letters ( i still have them) although we don't write or talk now but i still miss the quirkiness in her letters, always made me smile.
Thousand hand guanyin :) STJ was a vivid and beautiful memory

My teammates--- Thank you for everything, really love you guys, will miss you all lots... we've came, seen, lost, won, and gone. but those memories will never go.

The Fountains of Peterhof. Russia, perhaps once nad never again...
Our motley bunch of people, including Junhua and fungg from our class :D. It was great fun with all of them exploring a country which exceeded our imagination.
Haha Go-home partner and crazy creative boy :P
Me and sotong :), the first person whom i stuck a nick on to. :) Miss the playground times, the bus 74 times and all the random study times. Hope you'll do well for A's and grow well in God dear sister! :)
Eunice! haha another crazy sister- in- Christ! You can do it for A's! Grow well! Stay strong and i'll be praying for you! :d
Boonie!!! One of my sources of laughter! I'll miss the random meowing sessions and crazy spastic blabbering sessions. No other person can make me more spastic than her :P haha invaluable, miss ya lots :)
Da Kompany :) Hey brothers, dun lose contact in army ok! I still miss our vivo outings and all the things we've been through. Dramafeste, crazy madness shopping sessions, talking sessions. Thanks for all the memories.... miss you guys to bits.
The last prayer meet, the last day of official lessons. Thank you for creating such a beautiful tapestry for me to capture. The courts that i will miss on fridays.
Nightmare Chorale! So long ago! The crazy cabbing home. stay until damn late, get scolding sessions. All to go to champions of dramafeste '06 and SYF silver. Invaluable.
Haha my kid bro and mom! my kid bro being his lame self hiding behind his favourite pillow! haha quite a cute photo :P
Just sitting in the playground thinking to myself, how beautiful... how wonderful... is that cotton candy?
FIRST FRONTIER Dancers... first time i was involved in performance, sang and did crazy dumb things in front of hundreds of youths and we pulled through. :) God thank you.
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Thanks to everyone who wished me luck and the two people whom i smsed to alleviate my horrendous fears and worries, thank you so much for bearing with me and listening :)

Its all over! I dun think i'll pass but heck, guitar i want to pursue you... after A's!

Recently, I've been hung up to dry with a lack of motivation to study what soever despite prelims looming like the potential water crisis. I don't know why i'm so lost despite the fact that i try to find my way constantly, just swept up in a vortex of thoughts and ponderings and things intangible. A bad time for that i assure you.

Without the class, life has been rather quiet though their smses made my day immensely livable =) Its weird when you've finally attained some quiet and rest, you find that you crave what you once had. But mug mug mug.

I spent an immensely fun sunday of studying, oxymoronically with sponges and patrice :) Harbourfront centre is not a bad place =) We found another quiet spot in vivo which i would call the ultimate make-out spot, but it was good and quiet which made that the new mugging venue of the day :D. We blasted music from handphones ( it wasn't that loud), when lethargy from the afternoon sun set in. I was just stoning and reading lit most of the day because of the inertia FROM maths :D Rue morgue is interesting, and MS in a bottle is so PIRATES :D but all on all i enjoyed the company of my fellow study partners who were patient with my constant sighs when doing math, and random comments :) Don't eat your pineapple spongebob :)

Have i been living the way i want to live? I keep falling into the same traps which is such a huge danger that i have identified but struggles they are always the same. Its the time of the year where the greatest of my fears are relived. I've been thinking and talking to You about it but i'm not sure if i'm still doing it right. But as i walk gradually and know some changes that i desperately must make, I think i can have a bit of certainty in what i cannot see :)

After all, i keep hearing this song in my head.
" Just to be by your side
There is hope in my life
There is no greater freedom I’ve found

Take my life
And all that I have to give
Take my world
Just inhabit all of it
Take my dreams
Make me assuredly Yours"

Just take it all and dun let me wander aimlessly. I just need to live this life with this core.

I just wanna live to love you.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

The more you hate it, the more you must do it.

The biggest step that we've taken.

Looking fwd to tmr though i feel a lil sad.

But in all things i look to You (:

--Cale

Monday, August 20, 2007

I <3ed caregroup today. I really love CA3 you guys made my day (:

Although we're not as mad and crazy as CA4 but today it just felt comfortable in our own little space. Just sitting together playing those crazy games :P, sitting through a touching worship (:, then watching the funny but meaningful skit and last but not least the sharing. Sharing was really heart to heart and too bad the sun went down, i really just felt that we're a family. All in a family, all just baring our fears, our difficulties and telling of how God has moved our lives so much. I look at all of us and see changed lives and stories, funny ones, sad ones, moving ones, happy ones, those we walked with our Daddy and He brought us through. Even when we doubted and fell and hurt and feared, we walk, walk,walk,walk,walk until here, he still never give up. He never said "you are too dirty for me", "you are not worth it", but always always subtlely in ways we dun notice until sudden revelation that we conquer our fears and hurts and troubles. I really look forward to life sharing experiences in the future and i really want to thank my Alpha and Omega for his great mercy and love :D

Coffee is bittersweet. The taste of bitterness lingers before the sweetness sets in and lets you savour the flavour. Its how life is. We taste all the bitterness but the sweetness comes after and the fuzzy warmth which comes after. I savour every mouth of coffee like i savour my last dyas in sch. Very soon, i won't hear our usual laughter and jokes at the class bench, all the antics in class, I'm already missing it (:...

I trip. I fall. I trip. I fall. I bleed. I trip. I fall. I trip. I fall. I bleed.

But my band aid comes in the form of two plasters pasted in a very neat way like a plus sign. (:
I love You!
And i'm clinging desperately to every ounce of strength that i have.
Things are just starting to get rough.

Thank You for everything...

Saturday, August 18, 2007

You will consistently want to be who you are not.

When you've not tasted the sour berry on the tree, you will say it looks nice. But when you've tasted it, you have two choices, to moan that you made the wrong judgement or to take it that such a sour thing exists :D

I just want to specially thank my go-home partner on 156 :D Haha! I just thanked you online but if your reading this well yea! Thank you for everything!

Just one more sacrifice. Its like saying just one more lap at every exercise in training. Its like saying just 5 minutes more when your body's worn out. Just one more sacrifice. Its never too tough. After all, sacrifice is what it took for people and Him to love me. :) Its all worth it in the end.

Happy birthday Huiying a.k.a Sotong!

I've so much to be grateful for this sister. I'm not sure where to start or where to end. But just thank you for your presence and your listening ear last year and always being so nice to talk to. So sorry for making the nick stick :P but i really thank God for you, for bringing me so many smiles and so much joy. Thank you for everything and stay joyful :)

One more week till i'll not see my class on a daily basis. I'll miss them dearly... 06A13, never to be forgotten :)

I don't know how to start thanking You but thank you for all this because i know you gave all of them to me. So you deserve far more than i could put in words.

Love,
Cale.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

I've got too much to say (:

The hols have been erm... busy i guess with so many things on :)

Friday: Was Unit outing day!

Sentosa was the venue for our outing as a unit and we were just there to let go of all the homework and worries and what not. At first i was a bit skeptical i'd have to admit, looking forward to the lovely company but sentosa always was moderately boring for me all the times i've been there. But i was surprised! It makes a difference with God's people :) Thank God for the gamemasters for putting in so much effort! You've really outdone yourselves :) We had tons of fun but I ended up ultra tired :) It felt good to feel like that again.

It wasn't just a day of non-stop fun for me. Just having time alone to think and sing with my not so wonderful voice :P but i loved just sitting there, waist deep facing the ocean. Looking at it i could smell the wonderful salty breeze, look out at the endless ocean, a beautiful and wonderous creation, a picture which spoke a million lives which rely on it (or much more). The beauty of everything just seemed accentuated sitting there quietly. Looking at everyone play and have fun, it was comforting especially coz i wasn't alone watching them. I had a very nice conversation with God, and i realised as i absently piled sand around my foot that we are molded similarly. But we choose the hand who molds us or even decide whether we want to be molded or not. If i walked this alone, i would be just scattered but why not let go and be molded into the greatest picture of all.

Love is a promise of pain. Would you pay the price?

Grad night was plain but the company of my teammates were great. Just ending the 6 years properly. Though i realised that i've no idea how to react on stage -.- but its alright :D

I want to continue walking as not only a s****** but a l*****.

Look forward to the joy which illuminates the cloud with that silver lining.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Sometimes you blindly fumble around thinking that you've got the answer to everything.
But guess what?
Your just too caught up that you've lost your way, like sticking your head in the map, not watching where you are going while driving.

Spent a rather uneventful day today. national day celebration were alright, followed by class lunch at mad Jack's which was ok too but the company was great :)

After that went for tuition and on the way home i decided to change the location of my little time with my best friend :) I sat the in a pavilion in a small park outside my old primary school and i just closed to my eyes to hear that familiar voice.

I was really comforted today because somehow it felt different and these little unhurried times i've really missed. The thing about me is being unhurried is a problem and leaving things till the end is a bad habit. But it felt different today feeling and hearing the familiar acutely again. The wind whispered by, like a word He slipped into my mind. It felt different and extremely refreshing.

Thank you for everything :)

Came home to watch Sunshine, a sci-fi film which was moderately well made with a rather sad twist. But it was quite nice :)

Then suddenly its now at 10:14 pm when i'm sitting here thinking about the many questions that have popped by. I've come a long way. But the past doesn't matter when the race ahead is on.

Bring me where you want me. What are plans without approval?

Monday, August 06, 2007

I'm still here for you. Always will be :)

The tapestry of ultimate beauty.

Donuts to die for

Random pics :)
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The past week has been very very tiring and sick-ening. An eye infection, followed by a fever and a sore throat so bad i could hardly drink water and finally gastric that made me see stars for a bit. But through it all i saw one thing the most clearly, that my God saw me through it all. Haha tho its a bit duh but i always, always love the feeling that it gives me when i know my God loves every single one of us so much.

Thank you for seeing past my transgressions and all the stupid mistakes i keep making again and again. I am not who i once am because of you. I am not as foolish as i once was but still foolish in your eyes :)

Now i know what i means to feel pressure. Everyday of school warrants new work and new deadlines, 3 essays and 2 math papers due tmr and i'm just making a post so that i can pen down some stuff in my heart that i've wanted to say for so long.

Saturday was eventful with Festival of Praise. Everything was wonderful, Delirious? were really an experience and they really ministered with their amazing lyrics and their music. But the most important thing was that the Spirit of God was there. The only thing was that i was a lil distracted, a bit impeded by the small pains which nagged. But I still thank God, He let me just soak in His prescence. I don't want to just bring you a song, its not what you have desired, I just want to love you and be loved by you and be refreshed!

The thing about You is that you never blame, you never stay angry for long and you always love, always forgive. You never hate, you always trust in me, you always put your faith in me and give to me willingly, that is why i love you this much and i trust in You. I just want to keep doing it this way. I don't just want to do it in words. I want to live it out and shine your light. Not for the sake of others, but for the simple sake of being what you've wanted me to be.

If people would believe in others that could help them, i rather believe in one who already helped me.

Ares night was good and it finally concludes our class's faculty run. Its been a wonderful two years Ares! I'll miss it all! Dramafeste and all the activities )=

To think that we only have two weeks left.

A shoutout to A13 here! I love all of you guys lots!

Really can't imagine what study break would be like without all the laughs we have everyday to keep me going...

But in all things, life goes on.

God help me. I don't want to rely on myself. More of you, less of me.

Love ya :)