Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Everytime i run, i always seem to be watching you from the back.You leave me so far behind.
But all i can do is run and hope to catch up.
For one day i will reach where you are.
At that time, I will be ready.
And when i am, i will go all the way.
And chase this dream that I've had for so long.
God, your definitely my provider.
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Sept 24th.
Lit discussion at serene mac's was fruitful but extremely exhausting... x.xI'm sorry for being snippish today... was rather irritated and exhausted after sleeping at 3 am the previous night and waking up less than 5 hours later into a seemingly unending discussion over a misogynistic Malfian world with politically subserviant characters embroiled in an encroaching ominous struggle for freedom. X.x After the discussion, i had a headache, more like feeling dizzy, thanks to jh for noticing and caring... but when i went out for air i leaned against the wall and immediately dropped off to lala land.
Sleep has been elusive lately. Just never seem to have enough of it.
I'm not sure of what i'm studying now coz i dunno if i know anything despite having studied and read thru my econs notes more than twice x.x
However, i'm weirdly unstressed.
Coz i've learnt that stressing yourself too much would only lead to a total breakdown, rather trust God and he'll be with you all the way.
Rain down.... Rain down...
As the ocean sweeps a gigantic wave down, we are trapped upon the only rock and salvation that we have. A cross was engraved on that rock... and the blood that was spilt has cleansed us...
Everyone Jiayou!!
Econs Consult tmr!
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Sept 21st
WHAAAAAAA~!Super exhausted! But i nearly finished remedial tutorial 9!
I'm home finally!!!!!! At 11:38pm and i'm blogging now :)
I want to count this HUGE blessing that God has given me!
Thank God for Fungmin, Yvonne and Jiexun!!!
If you guys are reading this, i can't say how much encouragement and relief it gave me after that afternoon... the canned up thoughts and discouragement, just released itself. Thank you for all the advice and listening ears! Thank you for offering the prayer! Its not lyk we don't appreciate it la :P You guys!!! JIAYOU for PROMOS! All of us are weary but we can walk this final stretch together!!!
Ever wondered how humans are changed by the world bit by bit. I remembered that when i was little more than 5, I told a small lie about taking a sweet out of the refrigerator. I still remember how bad i felt and the urge of needing to tell my parents about it. I fel i could possibly DIE of guilt x.x But now... we don't tell as much of the truth as possible and if best i think i hide a lot from people. Its not too good actually... hmmm... I guess its why we need God. To remember what it means to be upright, to learn what its like to be an innocent child again :)
Live a blameless life.
Hebrews 11:1
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Sept 19th
My mind is blank.An entire afternoon spent with Oligopolies and small firms as well as Basal surfaces of weathering and pediplains their regoliths and the formations of tors and inselbergs. X.x
Haven't slept well in days.... Exhausted. Eyebags are starting to circle my eyes. Never earlier than 12 or 1 x.x
Gotta wake up at 4am tmr.
The only time i've been spending with God would be on the move. On the bus, where i would have like slips of time, i spent with God. I know its wrong... I could choose to do otherwise... When God promises He will give to you, He never breaks his promise but he brings it to all new levels. He promised Abraham with a son and He promised Abraham, with descendents as numerous as the stars. And he did. He blessed many generations to come. God never forgets or breaks a promise but He carries on the good work in you :)
Everytime i feel frustrated, I think of Him. Everytime i feel tired, I think of Him.
That's how i will live. Try to the best of my ability.
God, I need you
Friday, September 15, 2006
Sept 16th
Anniversary in a few hours time. its like 938am now...Well firstly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROBERT!
Just was thinking about some stuff again just as i woke up. (Alright, i know someone always tells me not to think so much but bleargh=P) Haven't been close to my family in some time now... maybe its coz I was being selfish in studying out nearly all the time, coming home to either read some more notes, play the guitar or be in front of my comp. I only talk to my mum i realised and she's reallie being one of my greatest pillars of support. I can't say how lonely it feels sometimes, when you can't talk to nearly everyone at home coz you've hardly got anything to say and you've no one to relate to.... Bro's only 9 after all.
I'm so very worried about promos to tell the honest truth. I haven't reallie started to think of it. I hardly know anything. I reallie dun wanna get retained ever since i started struggling with schoolwork in sec 2, i've never reallie felt too confident about it. I've always kind of felt dat i'm at the bottom which is mostly true i guess. I'll try hard but i'm just worried about it... especially coz i haven't done well in ANY test for ANY subjects.
I've been quite lax and dry recently as well... everytime i want to spend more time in His prescence this urgent whiny voice in my head keeps saying, " PROMOS ARE COMING!! STUDY!" I feel so guilty and so torn. Impatience tests me a lot these days.
Everyone's been mugging reallie hard and i see the stress. Its the pre exam gloom which entwines itself and clings on which makes life more tiring... So JIAYOU EVERYONE!!!!
Its not time to play and all but laughter makes the day so much lighter.
My family in Christ is probably one of the only things which keeps me afloat now. yesterday's caregroup gave me one of the most relaxed moments in the past 3 weeks or so, I felt reallie refreshed and energised! :)
Ok, at this post's end, i will STRIKE OUT ALL THESE TROUBLES FROM MY MIND!
Because God gave me a new slate!
I will give myself a new lease!
Time to pia :)
Thursday, September 14, 2006
13th Sept
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUNHUA!!!Heh definitely one of the most elaborate and well-planned birthday s ever:P A treasure hunt and all planned by Fungmin and Tracy :)
Well Mugging continues harder than ever with promos in like ONE WEEK! OMG!!! I haven't finished ANYTHING and my confidence level is like 0!
God bless Yingtse ( Boonie!) from her annoying tonsils soon! GET WELL SOON!
In this time, we are tested in our resolve and faith.
Stay strong.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Sept 12th...
I'm realising how much i love school. ><I'm sick AGAIN... the flu bug hit hard. Doc gave me medicine which put me to sleep.... for 12 hours. Woke up at like 11 with a splitting headache. Wasted away in front of the comp and TRIED doing maths.
Ended up here.
I wanna count some blessings:
1. My Caregroup!!! For simply everything. Their prayer and care, their support and our fellowship! I can't say how much i appreciate and love it :)
2. Having Da company in class :P GGB with his everlasting entertainment and brother-ship :P Junhong for being a rock and being a great buddy :D
3. For my sheep! Thank God for a good first shepherding :)
4. For Sotong who has been a great sharing partner:)
5. For my Mom, who has been really understanding through all this time :)
6. For Leon who has been part of nearly every study grp:)
7. For fellow shep and her strepsils and all her mothering :P and also the occasional sharings :)
8. For being blessed with a second hand guitar!
9. For a dedicated shep:) haha i know i'm quite erm... hard to teach?
10. For having God in my life :)!!!!!!
Well 10 blessings :D!
A few months i came to know You, now i can't live without You!
Mug for the moment. Think for the future. Live like never before.
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Sunday :)
One day after service!Yesterday's service was special for many reasons... God touched me twice! I was touched by two images... the first was during holy comm.... I remember i felt it vividly... the blood covered me head to toe. Everyone of us are covered in the blood of Jesus as he cleanses us everyday from all our sins... I was afraid, and felt horrible but yet free and thankful. As the blood the colour of shining rubies washed off me, it turned murky... murky with sin as it drained away... Every sin just washed away... At His expense... it just impacted me, the pain just for all of us. It was a touching experience. The image kept coming back during altar call.
The second was a coconut. (weird huh?) A coconut leaves its tree, falls into the ocean and floats away from everything it knew, everything it had, to create a new root somewhere else. It grows new trees with new fruits to go elsewhere to spread all over the world. Thank you Fungg, for giving me a chance for being this coconut like you :P Although i know i didn't do much but I felt dat God gave me this service to show more than to tell. I was just high ALL THE WAY :)
Stepping out of your comfort zone.
Living not only for yourself.
Being an armourbearer.
Being this fruit which turns into a seed to die and to multiply.
This image told me, go, go, GO! Don't stop now, don't give up, because together we will win the world! :D
I was sooo touched by the message yesterday!!! I love service!
6 more days.
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Today:
Spent most of my day down with a flu bug. met up with Leon and Huiying @ J8 to study :) I've spent EVERYDAY of the past week with my Caregroup mates :D I felt really refreshed with them:) It brings an unknown but wonderful happiness when i'm with my CG mates, can't tell why but its just sorta fun :)
Heh thanks you two for brightening up my day!!!!
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Glad Pings was happy with her present! haha, her hyperness at that time was contagious lol! :D
Post again later!
Friday, September 08, 2006
Sept 08...
Let me show you something today.I am patient to you. I am kind to you. I will care for you. I will do my best for you. I will listen to you. I will respect you. I will do my best for you. I want the best for you. I want to do something for you. Etc....
I could summarise all that:
I love you.
Samuel's 2 min shepherding was more meaningful than i originally thought. Especially when i thought about it even more. Love is Patient, love is kind. Jesus is patient, Jesus is kind.
How and when are you going to be able to substitute love and Jesus with your name in those verses? That's what we're working to.
Tomorrow will be a challenge.
God i need you..!
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Thursday Sept 07!
I had a really good time with my teammies in the morning!!! Skating was quite fun to learn tho i fell a few times! GET WELL SOON MJ! your lil red eye is getting better! Ping! Roasted dumps is quite good at skating too! haha! Xinyi is as noob as me but we will learn! Thomas quite zhai and jitneng is owning! WP is a super fast learner and keob quite good oso :)But i guess the highlight would be in the afternoon. Learnt about tithing from tracy's open shepherding and i thought it really changed my persepectives! Thank God for Tracee! Her shepherding was short, concise and really meaningful... sacrifice means giving a large proportion of what you have! Doesn't dat apply to love too?
Mixed feelings... he's gonna come. How can i go against God's word? But i've been trying to handle it! How do you love someone, u haven't even come close to like? Neutral more like. Is the purpose right?
By giving more up to God. by loving God more. Thanks Shep!
I gave my best time to God today! I'm realli happy i did! Coz i reallie felt His word moving... and it was reallie meaningful. Although i'm still struggling with the dilemma, it came to me dat God will definitely provide. All these unnecessary worrying is useless coz He still has a plan for us all.
Thanks Fungg for sharing :) i reallie appreciate it fellow shep, to know dat i'm not alone in this, to know also dat we can do IT! If we've dreams we can accomplish them. I reallie respect your spunk (or courage?) when you asked, heh, I will do my best this sat! Its gonna be quite a test but it may be a miracle. We shall see :)
HC, 22!!!!!!
Mugging has not been v fruitful. Weathering reading takes me more than 2 days and i still haven't finished! Maths integration is more or less done. sighh a LOT TO DO! NO TIME!
CG breakie tmr! Spent my entire wk with Cg pple and I reallie love these people!
I wanna proclaim to the world that....
I LOVE HCCG!
samuelxiangyuleontracyyongshengyvonnerobertfungminjonathanhuiyingeugeneyanyinjiexunsuetyiryancherylsimonqinyan
Did i miss out anyone? Think not :)
See our name line so long we hope to extend it a lil LONGER!
22!!!
Good luck J2's for A levels!
We will be praying and be RIGHT BEHIND YOU!
Friday, September 01, 2006
Sunday Sept 02.
A day passed with a good caregroup and studying with great CG mates...Found a similar one to Gb's post. Except that its my month lul.
FEBRUARY BABY
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract.
Intelligent and clever. Changing personality.
Attractive. sexiest out of everyone.
Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to
reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves
aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt.
Gets angry really easily but does not show it.
Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it.
Horny. Daring and stubborn.
Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp.
Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside.
Superstitious and ludicrous.
Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.
I would say that its moderately accurate. Surprisingly about 60-80%. Heh... Go figure.For God's foolishness and wiser than man's wisdom, And the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength.
Sorry for the mistake but this was on the class blog for a while
Today was... nostalgic, a little sad, yet exiciting... can't reallie describe it.After the elaborate Teacher's day celebrations at school (which was quite good compared to all the OTHER teacher's day celebrations i've had), I went back with some of the 4L-ers to High school. It was quite nice see-ing Mr Chew and Mr Tieu again... although i'm not taking Chem or Physics anymore, I sort of miss it sometimes haha =) =X. After that, left early to go back to dear old PCPS!
Every year, i felt that i should make it a point to go back at least once, because of the connection and of what it's done for me. I remember in p4 when i was nearly streamed down to EM2, when everything just was going down, Miss Ong and Mr Lee was there to just give me support. Not to mention all my classmates who were realli great friends.... LXY, Joyce, Dacks, CLK, Big bro ChuanYang :), HQC and so many others.
But it felt different. Coz we're all in JC now, its just not our generation anymore. It was nostalgic walking down the steep steps, stepping in to the sports hall where our basketball trainings used to be. Last year, the old team used to come back to play with the nets, commenting on how dunks seemed to be so easy... but now, everyone's just not there. All i see are unfamiliar faces. Although its totally understandable and i wasn't expecting anything, it felt kind of sad because its difficult to see old friends now... But it was nice reliving beautiful memories.
On the bright side, Spent quality time with Dacks yesterday :) went to his house after so long then went with him to Yishun for some stuff. Same as always, talked about all the random things under the sun. It was nice to talk to my bro again ^^
Can't wait for CG tmr and its first shepping for me to sheep x.x welll, Sam's gonna prep it tho. So well post later :)