Thursday, January 24, 2008

I feel really blessed today (:

Met boons for lunch and had a great talk after a few weeks (: I'll miss the antics we were always up to (: Then went for grads caregroup (: Which is getting livelier and more fun as they progress, really seeing people step up and growing so much and i really feel so happy that God is moving in them so greatly and strongly! (: I wanna thank ALL THE GRADS for praying for me (: thank you for just blessing me with your prayers and support (:

And more imptly, a big thank you to my ex-shep sam (: you'll always be a guide and a person that i look up to (: Thank you for making the effort to come to visit and thanks for the talk! I badly needed it and i really feel more relieved (:

The long holiday is over and finally its the 25th! Time to move on to the next phase of life.

I'm sort of scared but excited for what is about to come! (: More people to know and a different experience, but at the same time uncertain about how the confinement will go. Looking fwd to the 6th of Feb when i book out and finally see my caregroup again! (: Haven't seen those guys for 2 weeks and soon a month but i miss their presence around (:

Just 11 more hours to go! (:
See you guys on 6th of Feb (:

The Lord is my shepherd(:

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

I'm mad at you.

I don't know why you do this all the time.
Please leave me alone for a while

Monday, January 21, 2008

Finally met vonne tang for the first time in 5-6 years? (:

Just glad that things weren't like weird or awkward, but it was really just enjoyable talking to her again like we've done a lot of times recently (: The shopping/walking around at bugis street and lunch was just really relaxing and the chat was refreshing (: think we caught up at least around 1 years worth (or so) :P But it brightened my day tremendously that i got to meet this person whom i think God has really put in my life under circumstances which was probably not v normal (: But thank God (:

After that went to watch movie with ACB, and cloverfield is a thrilling movie just v dizzy. Watch with caution but i must say its pretty thrilling and scary at some parts (:

Enlisting in 4 days with mixed feelings.
These days are just packed.
March is the beginning of a chapter which i'm filled with uncertainty but hoping and expecting for what God will do in my life.

But for now,
Jehovah Jireh please provide for me because your comfort is what i can lean on

Thursday, January 17, 2008

I picked out a box of old cards yesterday in the wee hours of the morning and i simply sat there and read and read. As i read, i just simply reminisced on all the memories that i'd been given in the past 2 years.

The two caregroups today were really (:

Thank you everyone for brightening up my day.
Somehow the feeling and the atmosphere was really homely.
No pretence, no hiding.
It reminded me of the gift God gave me and how lucky i am to have received.
I don't have to find myself hiding behind masks anymore as i did just years ago.
I just have to be who i've been molded to become (:

I received a call from kenny today.
Talking to him was really really mmm... great? that's sort of an understatement tho (:
Its nice to hear from someone going through the rigours of NS already but its even nicer that we know that we're all behind each other.

"My soul is downcast within me, therefore i will remember You."

I've been walking unsteadily and even fell a few times these past few weeks. But i'm learning to go back to the basics.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and all your strength.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Everyday is breezing past with the 25th creeping up on me.
Enlistment day (:

I must say the world is very different with half your friends in the army, the other half working and you are the one caught in the middle. Its quite weird :P But i'm sure God meant me to spend these extra days meaningfully.

Mixing with the NS group has definitely been enjoyable and an interesting experience, i guess i've learnt a little more of how the ministry works and how it feels to have a weekend ministry. Its definitely not easy considering NS men spend 5 days in camp and your limited time left you will really want to cherish. It'll be challenging and tiring for all my other brothers, tho for me it might be slightly less coz of my potential 8-5 posting. I just pray that God will see us through this period because it will be a time for moulding and a time for looking and reflecting on how we are and who we truly are. Without a safe and protected environment, will we still hold on to the values we hold so dear to ourselves. I'm looking forward yet a little afraid but i'm sure somehow God will deliver.

Adapting has been a bit of a challenge in some sense (: But thanks to my new shepherd, Peter and the friendly NS guys things aren't so tough to get along. Just that i miss the enlisted guys who make up my caregroup and that perhaps i'm not so in sync with the culture as well as the way things go around that group that makes things challenging. Weariness creeps in and dryness set in a little which leaves me struggling to keep my focus on what i want to do and how i want to grow. God, i heard your voice (: I'll keep my eyes on You and keep going (:

I really wanna thank God that these days haven't been as mundane as i thot it to be, slowly finding myself in my thoughts as well as looking back on old hobbies again. I also want to thank God for some faithful friends who have really blessed me (: Thank you all!

This post is just a brief overview of what has been happening and what i've been thinking of and if anyone wants to be nice, do give me a call and meet me for a meal or sth! HAHAHA sometimes altho things aren't so bad but the boredom does set in. Its always nice to see a familiar face. (:

I've been reading this old card again and again today and it just brought back memories and i don't know if things are still the same or have they changed so drastically... maybe someday things will get better...

You are my all in all

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Draining and Filling.

What fills you and what drains?
Maybe that was what i really didn't know all this time.
Time to relook and revaluate.
Is my cup full or is it simply draining away?

Hope you guys are safe...
I'll see you all soon. I hope (:

Jesus, take the wheel.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Class chalet was joy (: Although the weather was a letdown, the costs were rather high, but the company was more than worth it (: One final goodbye before we meet again months later (:

To all the guys going in earlier than me, take care and stay safe! I'll see you guys soon!

For now, i just wanna count my blessings:
1. I wanna thank God that i'm going in in Jan, so that i don't have to rush to find work and everything. I also will be able to adapt to my new ministry better (:
2. I wanna thank God that i have such a cheerful and fun bunch of people in the NS ministry (:
3. I thank God that I managed to find my i pod again.
4. I wanna thank God that He's always stood by me in the tough times when things don't seem so bright (: I'm sure i'll make it through
5. I wanna thank God for my family who has been understanding and tolerating my consistent playing mentality despite the start of the new year
6. I wanna thank God that He has brought me to where i am today to grow me more and to show me that i can do much more than what i could do just a few months before.
7. I wanna thank God for showing me true friends (:

With Christ as the vessel i can smile in the storm...
I'm clinging on tightly...
so never let me go.
Hear my prayer please(:

Sunday, January 06, 2008

When we honestly ask ourselves which person means most to us,
We often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice,solutions, or cures
have chosen to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle tender hand

Today, i was asked a question.
I answered it with my mind to smother it all
But in my heart i had an answer totally different from what i said.
This part of my emotions and thoughts will disappear someday perhaps.
But what never changes will be the memories that linger through time.

Friends that can sit by you not knowing, not healing and facing our weakness,
but facing it by our side.

Friendships that never die.

Because of the dream and the vision that holds us together.

Friday, January 04, 2008

You know the story of the starfishes on the dried up beach?

Well i have it on my wall and it goes like this.

One day, a man walked on the beach when he saw another figure tossing starfishes back into the sea. He was curious coz there was hundreds and thousands of starfishes! And the task to save them all from drying up and dying was almost impossible.

He was curious and asked the man throwing starfishes back, " Why do you keep throwing starfishes back into the sea? There are hundreds of miles and thousands of starfishes, it doesn't make a difference."

The man replied after throwing a starfish back into the sea," I made a difference for that one."

The number of troubles in the world are... immense. But if we could cover just one in prayer for God to do his work everyday, we make a difference to someone's life everyday because prayer is the most powerful tool which moves a person who can move the mountains. If i could say a prayer for someone's trouble and touch someone's life everyday, i make a difference to one more life. It matters because the world has SO MUCH of it, and removing one everyday may seem insignificant, but one everyday would mean 365 in a year. bit by bit step by step. Every life changed is worth more than anything. Because it cost Jesus every drop of his blood to save our lives.

A little time to pray everyday.
The price is worth paying anytime.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Thank you for giving me another reason to rejoice (:
Thank You for answering a long forgotten prayer.
Thank You for choosing to raise my spirits now (:

I really didn't expect it to happen this way.
but You always have the best plan for me (:

Thank you for this friend (:
What you gain in the spirit is always more valuable than what you can gain materially (:
I trust in You

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

The year ending post...

2007 was a year of laughter, tears and sheer hard work. The joy of having a jnr class not one but two of them, the crazyness of orientation and so many other times spent with my dear 06a13, not forgetting the times when we practiced for the CNY dance comp, the incredible joy of finally winning the national school's gold, the toil of falling headfirst into the A levels, new sheep, more lives changed, crazy mugging into the night in places like the library and at the amphitheatre not to mention seeing Mrs tan for consults every week (:, the study caregroups which pushed us on together despite the A lvls and finally we're here in 2008. This is the year where i faced more sets of ups and downs than any other year, emotionally, physically and spiritually, but i realised that i learnt so many new things. What it really meant to love people, to be concerned of how people are doing, to build up and not to tear down, to support, to give and not expect to receive, to continue to hold on to 1 Cor 13. I really want to thank 06a13, my teammates and most of all my dear HCCG, thank you for pulling me through this year... i couldn't have made it without you (:

Now to present everything in a relatively interesting Fashion :P

The A-Z of 2007-- The memorable people and events of 2007

A- "A" levels X)

First of course, no one could forget the awful A's which was the largest challenge of the year. The unending challenges of staying sane and continual thoughts of why i'm studying or what i'm studying for. It was a tough tough challenge in all aspects. I'll always remember that period when i went home tired everyday, not knowing why even though i may have slept enough. But it was the company and encouragement which showed me what frens were for and also notice how God has been good to me (: He pulled me through stacks of notes (which can reach up to 1 metre or more) as well as putting dear teachers like Mrs TAN! to help me when i most needed encouragement and hope. Not forgetting all the dear people who i'll mention later (: Good bye A levels but thank you for teaching me and showing me a different phase of faith! (:

B- Boonie (: a.k.a Yingtse.co :P

One person who shone a lil light in my life throughout the year (: Thank you spastic little baboon for always giving me those little smiles with all the cat-like behaviour and doing pointless and random things with me(: I'm sure dozens of people (namely our classmates) would have seen our totally irrational antics (: But she has always been a person i could talk to without reserve, a person who gave me comfort and gave me a little push when the going got tough(: Thank you(:

C- Chilliping a.k.a ghp a.k.a Liping (:

Go home partner! Haha out of all my go-home-partners this one is the only one which can walk down the slope with me (: I really appreciate and love this friendship because i see what it means to have a frenship centred on Christ (: Two totally different personalities and temperaments but yet making it work on every trip home (: Thank you for teaching me so much and contributing to how i've grown in the past year. (: Thank you for also showing me what a comfortable silence means (: though you may not read this. Thank you for giving me the little joys as well as being a great friend (:

D- Da Kompany

A bunch of brothers who have stuck with me through these two years. Thank you for making this year work as well! The most wonderful part is that i think that through the difficulties and things that have come between us at times, we stuck them through and have only come out stronger. I'll miss you guys in NS and we must come out with a hotter bod than karweng :P (altho for me v hard hahaha)

E- Eugene acb (:

My sheep. My buddy for 13 years now. My brother who has stuck with me through tough times. My friend who was with me and quarrelled with me and the first person i brought to Christ. I'll miss you lots too (: And i look forward to always walking with you till the end of days (: I can't say anymore coz there is no way to describe this friendship (: Grow well(:

F- Fungg (:

One person anointed by God (: A person who impacted my life and has always encouraged me along this year (: A person whom God put around me for a reason (the reason sometimes i questioned :P) but a friend who came through at the end. Thank you for seeing me through my childishness and my insecurity and i will miss you as well (: talk to you soon.

G- God's Aim (:

I can never forget First Frontier camp. Remember the two weird singers on stage? One of them was me X) it was a new experience, a nerve wrecking one, an exciting one and definitely a fun one, thanks to the entire crew of God's aim. (: My first experience on stage in front of such a huge crowd, doing something i love and i hope someday i'll serve like that too (: haha that's one big dream (: But i'll never forget these moments (: Thank you God.

H- HCCG <3
We're halfway through the post and i've come to the most important part of this year (: The Family which i love so much with a capital "F". God has been faithful to us this year as He always has been (: Bringing so many new brothers and sisters to know You and putting them in my life to teach me, encourage me and show me what love truly means. HC caregroup is love. A love which i could never have survived this year without. The caregroups, the study packs for the J2s as well as for our own people, the camps and all the cheers and songs (: I love you all and miss you all dearly (: This bunch of brothers and sisters, i will never forget (: HCCG '07


I- " I don't know" - The most common phrase :P

I was stunned by "I". "I don't know" the phrase that i've used to run away from so much. (: I especially rmbr this from all the at-times horrifying consultations with Mrs tan where i didn't have any answers. Or the times when i wondered how to get past my math. I thank God though that although i remember this phrase leaving my mouth so much this year (:, You provided me with wisdom through my teachers like Mrs Lee who saved my math through tuition and Mrs Eileen Tan for never giving up hope on me (: Thank you God (:

J- Jeriel (:

A brother who lives so close to me (: Thank you for listening to me always and cabbing home with me still (: Thank you for the advice and being someone whom God uses to touch me in my spiritual walk. I still remember you were the one who corrected me in my behaviour to let me know what being a Christian means. Thank you for impacting me life and i'll miss you (:

K- Kenny(:

Kenny (:! I thank God for this life who has shown me how God can change lives, for putting him into my life so that he is a support to my life in class as well as a loyal friend and ever giving buddy! Someone whom i've come to trust in this year! Keep growing bro! (: And thank you for pulling through this year with me!

L- Lil sis seok (:

Simply put, she's been a little sister to me (: Thank you for always being encouraging through the difficult times this year (: Especially the reminder to be "still" (: Now whenever i hear that song i remember that time you reminded me of it. (: Hang in there, grow strong and i'll miss ya (:

M- March 11, 2007. Welcome Cale (:

Finally another event! :P Death and rebirth is it possible? Jesus did it. On this day, Jon "died" and Cale was brought into this world and Cale said, "my life is Yours". This life took a turn on this day in 2007. And it gives me another reason to remember 2007, a year which God has blessed me so much

N- New sheep - Junyao=P & Clarence

Junyao(:- A sheep which has brought me so much joy in the short few months that he has been with me. So similar to me in some ways yet unique is so many others. Thank you for being a great support and a person who has impressed me with your faith and your actions to follow it through. Grow strong and i thank God for what He will do in your life. Miss you sheepy! (:

Clarence (:- A sheep that i look forward to walking the next two years with! I thank God for blessing me with this sheep and that He'll help me teach him and build him up well!

Thank God for giving me these two sheep in 2007 (:

O- 06A13 (:

A class like no other which i will not trade anything else for! This class has been a great blessing to me (: Studying together in the library, laughing at the bench and in class about so many things! Lessons would never be the same without you guys and thank you for the wonderful memories (: Miss you all and Stay safe (:

P- Porky a.k.a Oli chia :P

Pork! A person who has come to be one of my random photowhoring partners and regular people that i can laugh with and laugh at :P I wanna thank God for letting her be a person i can easily talk to and relate to esp. near the end of the year (: Pork, don't abandon Lard! (:

Q- Quest for 60 (:

I will never forget this dream that we had! Although it was large, although it didn't succeed but i think we are very blessed through this year as we walked with God and saw lives changed! In the end, the number never matters. But the lives matter. Because God loved and so we did. yet this goal brought so many memories which i'll never forget.

R- Repetitive broken recorder a.k.a Mr creative a.k.a Liao jiexun :P

A buddy who has been there for me and been great company all the time (: Thank you for being open during camp lol :P and always being patient with me. I thank God for putting you in my life to bless me and always being around for me. I look forward to serving with you! (: Jiayou bro and thanks for all the go home times :P and all the study sessions we had for A lvls are your old house. come back from France soon!

S- Shepherd (: Samuel Cheng

My shepherd! Another VIP in my life this year! A person who hears my failures and fears and my childish anxieties but always does his best for me. I still remember all the times you waited for me after trainings, the times you stuffed things into our bags, the times you gave me advice even though i was being dumb and insecure. Thank you for always setting aside time to be concerned with my life. Thank you for always offering to give into my life although you had little yourself. No matter what, you will always be my loving shepherd (: haha a person who has cared for me especially when i'm in deep trouble (: Thank you for the talks on the phone or at camp to hear and accept me for who i am. Thank you for trusting and believing in me. I'll miss ya, stay safe and healthy, stop chionging so much and pay attention to yourself at times (:

T- Transformation (:

I've changed not onlyin the way i dress :P( haha not the main pt) but in many other ways i probably not noticed. But i thank God for everything he has given into this life (:

U- USB Eunice (:

Another person i thank God for putting in my life (: thank you for listening, thank you for being open, thank you for understanding. I think you are a person who has encouraged me a lot alot this year! A lvls was tough but your encouragement made things a bit lighter (: Thank you! USB! :D

V- Victory! In nationals (: A Div Goal

What can i say? A long awaited dream. The victory was sweet. But its sweeter only coz it was an answered prayer (:

W- Wan Chien angel(:

My j1 CG angel who was truly an angel! (: peeled oranges, chocolate, biscuits and a spirit filling, encouraging card with every joy pack. I still remember every time i got a pack i was super happy and encouraged (: Thank you for blessing me dear sister and you've always got me a call away if you need help (: This year my turn to encourage you! (: Sorry i don't have a photo of you yet x.x!

X- X29- A life changing camp

A camp that i won't forget (: I felt like a new believer again, just worshipping and hearing God speak (: A camp which rated high on the number of times i broke down because of God's grace. I'll never forget (: And i'm claiming that promise. I'm also claiming that dream that i've made in faith! (:

Y- Your love & grace (:

Thank you God for giving me the best of your love, your grace, your patience and so much joy (: Everything above is impossible without you (: You know me best. And my God is the greatest God ever (:

Z- Zzz... its the end of 2007.
And this is the end (: the new year has come. Though I have left things behind and still miss them, but i look forward to the coming of a new and exciting year! NS is going to be mmm a testing time i expect. But everything depends on whose hands they are in. But we're in Your hands, and those large hands are good ones.

I commit this year into Your hands and God i love you.
Once more.
<3 Cale (: