Sunday, December 30, 2007

A new perspective of what i do and what Jesus does (:

" Instead he explained," Hi, I'm Russ Blowers. I'm with a global enterprise. We have branches in every country in the world. We have representatives in nearly every parliament and boardroom on earth. We're into motivation and behavious alteration. We run hospitals. feeding stations, crisis-pregnancy centers, universities, publishing houses and nursing homes. We care for our clients from birth to death. We are into life insurance and fire insurance. We perform spiritual heart transplants. Our original Organizer owns all the real estate on earth plus an assortment of glalaxies and constellations. He knows everything and lives everywhere. Our product is free for asking. Our CEO was born in a hick town, worked as a carpenter, didn't own a home, was misunderstood by his family and hated by his enemies, walked on water, was condemned to death without a trial, and arose from the dead. I talk with him every day."

A little lesson on contentment.

A man once went to a minister for counseling. He was in the midst of a financial collapse. " I've lost everything." he bemoaned

" Oh, i'm so sorry to hear you've lost your faith."
" NO," the man corrected him," i haven't lost my faith"
" Well, then i'm sad to hear that you've lost your character."
" I didn't say that," he corrected." I still have my character."
" I'm so sorry to hear that you've lost your salvation."
" That's not what i said," the man objected. " I haven't lost my salvation."

" You have your faith, your character, your salvation. Seems to me," the minister observed," that you've lost none of the things that really matter."

Excerpts from travelling Light by Max Lucado.

Messages which hit me real hard today. Do what you can for people today, look lesser at what you can do for yourself.

To you! i hope you know who you are. I'm sorry i shouldn't have expected, because love doesn't expect, love always trusts, hopes and believes. So i believe in you and i hope you see what i truly hope to sustain and achieve. I hope that you still remember the promises and try to keep them tho its difficult XP but i will miss you (: yeah and i hope that you'll be safe and you'll be well (:

Travelling light is difficult. Everyday i pick up guilt, sling on weariness from trying to do things on my own, get loaded by emotional burdens, tied down by things i think i "need" to do. But truly its time to learn how to put the burdens down.

Miracles need people with open arms to receive them. With all the baggage around, i won't be able to catch it. But i want to catch it. For the sake of people.

For God so loved the world, He gave his one and only son, so that all those who believe in him will not perish but receive eternal life.
Love is what matters and its task is to reach people.
I want to be one of those stepping stones for that task.
Do you? (:

Saturday, December 29, 2007

So it ended, my two years with this wonderful caregroup and bunch of people which gave me so much joy.

Now its time to leave it behind and look at NS.

I'm pretty excited for the upcoming ministry and the things that we can do for it! The new people and new group i guess we face it with anticipation of a new age (:

but i think because of my foolishness, i've left something behind that i may regret in the years to come. Maybe it was my impatience, maybe my immaturity. But i'm looking forward to grow in that in the year to come.

God, please take care of everyone! And please challenge me! Because i know that we need to bring the miracle out of this place to somewhere else. I want to.

Maybe i had to sacrifice it.
Maybe i didn't.
But i wanted to say something and pray something for you.
I didn't dare to.
God, you see.

Moving on wasn't as easy as it seemed after all.
Especially for an idiot like me.

But God your ways are higher than mine, your hands are larger than mine.
It all depends whose hands its in.
Now my life is in yours.

I realised a random fact of the day. The world doesn't owe me anything. But i owe it everything. Coz Jesus gave everything for me to give it to the world.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

When you finally slow down the pace to look, what do you find?

The answer is never defined in words.

I wish you would stop being selfish.

God, i need You.
Always have but a little more now.
Thank You very much, Jesus(:...

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Psalm 142
I cry aloud to the LORD;
I lift up my voice to the LORD for mercy.

I pour out my complaint before him;
before him I tell my trouble.

When my spirit grows faint within me,
it is you who know my way.
In the path where I walk
men have hidden a snare for me.

Look to my right and see;
no one is concerned for me.
I have no refuge;
no one cares for my life.

I cry to you, O LORD;
I say, "You are my refuge,
my portion in the land of the living."

Listen to my cry,
for I am in desperate need;
rescue me from those who pursue me,
for they are too strong for me.

Set me free from my prison,
that I may praise your name.
Then the righteous will gather about me
because of your goodness to me.

-------------------------------------------
Everyday you hear my prayer, you hold my questions in your mind.
For that i give thanks and hold on to You.
Thank you God for the love that you hold for me always.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

After everything in december its finally coming to a close.

The end of 18 and the coming of NS, a prospect to be entertained.

I read somewhere in a book where one of the protagonists said something interesting.
It goes something like this.
" Everytime we part or say goodbye to a phase in our lives, we leave part of our soul behind."
I thought that if that's the case, leaving and saying goodbye to so many things in this year would really take a huge chunk out of my soul (: although i know the goodbyes maybe temporary

These few days i've been home alone and learning the little pleasures of completing chores and making the place slightly neater (: In the midst of the silence at home, i sometimes ponder about what company means to man. Somehow the house seems a lot emptier and its pretty lonely, but i guess it really shows how God made us to live in communities (: not alone. In all things, we have companionship of people. (:

I've also sat down to think of how to live my life (sorry i'm a very pondering person nowadays x.x) what i really want to do and why i do the things i do. Do i do them for a purpose that is innocently to care and love someone else or am i doing it for other motives? I guess checking out hearts is something that i really wanna learn. Treating people as sincerely as i can and giving them a bit more love in this world where love seems to equate sometimes to sometimes undesirable motives.

Searching my soul, i think i'm really blessed with friends who have really trusted me and allowed me to trust that. Transparency and trust builds the strongest foundations of friendships. To YOU, whom i talked to yesterday ( i hope you know who you are), thank you for sharing and saying i appreciate it only touches the surface (: I thank God for this friendship and that i noticed how he has made you a blessing in my life. Hang on and i'll always be here for you (:

I really really miss A13 now (:
I miss the bench times and recess.
I miss the crazy mugging sessions and jokes.
The stupid times in lit lessons where "orgasmic" describes every single twisted Poe story.
The dumb things we do in class.
Passing one word stories.
Laughing at each other.
I miss you all to bits.

I'll miss HCCG too.
Our regular caregroups at the secret sky gardens and concourse (:
The crapping sessions at benches.
The prayer meets on friday mornings :P
The mugging sessions
The cheers during camp and our fire that never stops burning (:
Our pride in our school and our heart for its people
J1s and j2s, guys and girls making things work, where everyone goes to caregroup with burdens, heavy hearts and frowns, but leave with smiles and light hearted laughter (:
The tears which we sometimes shared :P
The testimonies of lives changed
The teasing of random couples :P
Our trust in each other
Our belief that it takes everyone to make this family a family :)
I don't know how God wove his plan but he wove it beautifully and made it work, All in his grace because compared to what He did, we did little.
The lessons of life i learnt, in security and confidence in God, in trusting people, in loving people, in communicating, in really sharing lives, in caring for each other and going the extra mile, and by learning of a family that is out of the ordinary. I think there are no families like this one (:, always growing, always loving and always aiming to change lives.
Now some of us may part, but not forever, because i think somewhere in our hearts, no matter how much we say that we need to move on and have settled down to go elsewhere to impact others, we all saved a little bit of this family in us.
Maybe someday we'll come together to look back and see how this was the start of many of our walks with God, many changes in our lives.
personally, i think this two years have made the greatest impact in my life for these 18 years.
And i want to thank every single one of you for teaching me a little bit more about life (:

Honestly, i came to HC with a grudging heart. I was part of IP but i was tired after high sch. Tired of the culture. weary of the pressure and wanted to start afresh. But i didn't know the last two years in this sch could mean more to me than anything else (:

Now its time to move on and bless others.
May the miracles continue to spread on (:
Thank You for everything




Let the memories speak for themselves (:

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Some thoughts never cease throughout your life (:

Sometimes i think about it, i get pretty embarrassed, other times its pretty sweet.
But in the end, there are always more important things which take up a place in my heart.
At least for the moment.

Love ya God :)

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Sometimes it all boils down to a choice, to make it or break it.

Searching your soul, takes an awful amount of effort.
When the facts hit you, you take a painful step back amidst your own excuses.
But more often than not, the gentle touch of God is always there.
Somehow He knows what i need the most, in the most dire times.

The current times haven't been as easy as i had hoped.
But the problem is smaller, God is bigger.

sometimes i think that this bumpy ride may have been because of this _____, but no matter but the choice doesn't lie in my hands but in yours. I wish you could see it as i could see it. but you are only you.

God, you are good in my life.
You have blessed me with friends who impact my life in ways i didn't know they could (:
You see me through even when i didn't trust you
You didn't blame me from turning from you
But you loved me more till i loved you

Compassion for people, that's where it all came from.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

X29 camp.
To dream big things.
This camp was so different from the rest.

I went in prepared for once, with goals, with hopes and with a heart asking God questions on whether he would help me, whether i was going in the right directions.

I came out satisfied, hungry, energized and knowing what i must do. I haven't felt like this since ENCOUNTER and the feeling is amazing even when the coughing feels endless :)

The camp wasn't like a super super "fun" camp partly due to the rain as well as adapting to the new group but it was rewarding, emotional, and soul-searching.

I really wanna thank my shepherd for his patience with me and for his guidance, without him now i think i'd probably be still lost, still searching for answers and maybe an emo bin. Thanks for offering to help for you know what :P and being so dedicated to all of us despite all the trouble and all your ministry commitments :), God sees your efforts and your heart for us! I'll be keeping you in prayer.

The most memorable moment: Resonance. It wasn't the crazy praise. It wasn't the mad jumping and enthusiasm. It was the moment God showed me all His goodness in my life, in the family He put around me. He has given and given and never asked a thing in return. In a moment, memories can pour out and consume your mind, and i remember every moment that all of you touched my life. Even tears cannot fully express, the love You have poured into my life. This is why i was able to live. This was why i was able to hunger and dream. This is why i can live as i am now.

As for every single soul in HCCG, now that we're moving on, i'll miss every one of you, but we're all in this kingdom business, i'll see you guys around :)

My sheep are the most supportive sheep ever :)

So now, we have a task in our hands. We have dreams to fulfill and lives to touch. What do we choose?

Simply to say that You are the way, the truth and the life,

Saturday, December 08, 2007

Humbled.

4 days with God.

<3 Cale