Friday, April 27, 2007

Today i walked to a bakery near my house after taking a long bus ride home from school. Passing by the small old district, i simply stepped into the bakery and bought what i wanted. Then i crossed to the supermarket directly opposite to get a drink because i thought the bubble tea shop was closed next door, after a faint memory of seeing it closed a week ago. When i stepped out, i realised that the bubble tea shop right beside the bakery was open, which left me thinking, how in the heavens did i ever miss it? Maybe because i simply assumed that it wasn't open, or simply didn't bother to notice.

Sometimes humans let assumptions take control and we don't stop to look, or pay any attention to things around us. We can cry heaven and cry Earth on how things are not going our way. But we never stop to notice the people who are right beside us trying to help us.

Sometimes we feel so frustrated, that we cry out our burdens thinking that no one hears them, our minds so scramed that its like a jumbled up room which just had a tornado pass through it.

But someone does. He's just waiting for you to notice and turn to Him.

When you finally do, He knocks and walks into your room. Humbly and silently, he straightens every picture on the wall, smooths every crease in every fabric and wipes off every speck of dust in it. With sunlight shining into the room of your heart, He smiles at the completion of His work.

We are liberated by His love. Filled by His light. Blessed by His joy.

It is finished.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

My knee's really hurting quite badly...

The never-ending stream of tutorials haven't made J2 life very pleasant but we just grind our teeth and persevere on. Seem to be rushing headlong into more and more work somehow. The reprieve doesn't last.

But whenever I turn to You, i am reminded why i do what i do. I am refreshed, and ready to move on. Salt and light...

because unlike my reprieve, your love never fails

Monday, April 23, 2007

Daddy, can you give me this?

Daddy can you give me that?

Daddy, can you help me?

Daddy, can you don't make me go through this?

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On second thought, Daddy don't just give me anything, because something for nothing isn't worth anything. But in all this, I see You even clearer.

Your place for me, i take it gladly

Everyday is a new day worth rejoicing for

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Just a random thought!

I really really just remembered that i wanted to post this on Sunday the 15th of April!!!
HAHA and i deserved to be stoned to forget!

Its my one year old in Christ :)
This one year has definitely been more memorable than all the other 18 years in my life because of all the changes and all the times that I've seen You work in my life, bringing me so much JOY, not simply happiness or laughter but true joy! :) Coming to know You has been so fulfilling and comforting, and to feel the empty void filled up by You is the best thing that I could ever ask for. Thank You for always hearing, always comforting, always bringing me smiles, for providing me with the best, for healing my pains, fears and disappointments, for loving me:) and for being my Father :):D. Without You nothing would be possible and the Jonathan you see today would never have existed. From knowing you to experiencing you to being born again in You has brought me further to see what life is about and the greatness of the things that You've done not only for me but for all of us:)

Thank You for saving me that fateful Easter one year ago=)
There's is nothing more i could ever ask for and in your love, I'm in awe :)
In Your love i am made whole again.
Thank You Jesus :)

" For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."
John 3:16

Love<3,
Cale.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Its not so difficult coming up with excuses or facades to show people something that you want them to see and sometimes you want yourself to see. Its scary how you realise that what you've been denying is true.

Lord, I lift it up to you.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Sometimes I really am like a swan but only one sees it. And it gives me a reprieve, always that hope and that chance to have that peace of mind and at heart. Everything crashes down once in a while, but what matters is that you need to get up and build it up again.

Age group didn't go too well today. Lost again but i didn't exactly feel sad. I went in to get a feel of what he would fight like, with a mind of trying something new before the nationals. But it turned out really bad and i think my teammates and coach would be disappointed. I thought over it and felt a lil regretful too. I shouldn't have made that mistake. But its already done.

I know why i love you guys so much. Because you never make me feel this way. Because you guys would never give up on me, never leave me out to dry, never forsake me. Perhaps sometimes you would point out my errors, feel irritated over them, but you guys never hold it against me but always gave me a chance. You guys always make me smile, even when the rainiest day sets in. Lastly but not least, you guys are really God given friends who i can trust with that "10 cent coin" of mine. CE2, thank you always :).

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KELLY!!! HOPE YOU WERE GREATLY SURPRISED TODAY!!! HAHA JIEMEI MANIA DE LAO DA! :) YOU ARE 17! :D Thank God for you.

Today is a ranty day :) but thanks to God everyday is a day to REJOICE and to SMILE. Because amidst all things, we are given this life and choice to live to the fullest and i sure wouldn't want to squander every moment that was given by my Father. Today was GREAT! Simply because i spent it with YOU! :)

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Two things which i want to jot down quickly before i forget.

I learnt 2 things today.

1. From what pastor Jeff said. When things don't go right, it doesn't mean that God isn't with us. We simply ask Him," Are you with us?". If He is then it doesn't matter if it doesn't go right. Because we know it fits into His plans. The most impt thing is we're with Him because He is our joy :)

2. From what i read in the Case for Faith. Whether people want to believe is in their will. If they are set on what they want to believe, it is unmovable. However, if they have give an allowance, it can be touched. The same goes for truth. When you set your mind to it, I've no way of changing it.

Today, I saw a life changed by Him. I heard it. And I felt it. In spite of the little feelings of sadness which invaded my heart, because I would miss her so. Thank you for giving so much to us sister bear! :) I'm so glad that we could touch your heart and impact your life, at the same time I'm even more touched by the blessings that you've brought to us! I was touched by her words which reflected her faith in Him. As you go to impact Vj, I'll miss your laughter and do visit us as often as you can! :)

This is one life which showed me that God is good. And one life which has shone a light into my life and showed me how God brings me joy.

Simply touched
<3 Jon

Thursday, April 12, 2007

I didn't know our frenship was that easily broken in yours eyes.

I don't know what else to say but i'm disappointed that it only took one small thing for this to happen. I thought i trusted you.

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I trust in You. And You make me get through everyday with a smile on my face no matter how tough it is. Thank you and I love You.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Haha, quite a blurred photo but in the midst of this study break and from the v long day... this brought a smile to my face. My mortal, Jesslyn, haha don't know if she'll read this but i sort of miss those letters which would brighten up my day during angel/mortal :) Just wanna say a big thank you for all the smiles and laughs that you've brought me. JIAYOU FOR YOUR COMP!! Haha and get well soon lemon girl :)


Another person who has been with me through lots. My dear sheep :) Thanks for being with me through all these years. Being at my water bap and seeing me in every school we've ever been to :) Thank you for those long talks we used to have and consolations when i was down and out. Thank you for serving beside me now and being a great SHEEP! Your a real blessing :)

Last but not least, go home partner Jeriel "the King" Lam :) Thanks for always being a great source of support, listening to all the emo rants :P and always being calm and composed through it all. This photo is from the Nokia bus!! HAHA our favourite! :) The memories of the incredible rainy journey and all the long night talks on the cab home will never leave my mind. Thank you so much for being there. Though i dun show it much, thank you buddy!

These photoes brought me a smile in the midst of a day sorting through thoughts. God let me see that there are frens and memories for me to smile on through these pictures. Thank you Lord for carrying that Cross for me... :) I love you for all eternity.

Disappointment. That's how i felt.

Today is Easter and it seems that i've landed myself in a fair share of debates today.

But thanks to a gentle reminder, today is the day that You died for me. And for that there is no excuse why i shouldn't rejoice.

For all that things that are in my life, complicating, distracting, worrying, disrupting, turning it topsy turvy, I only have one answer to them which is keeping me afloat. In the toughest times and I'm caught in a room to myself, choked by the stifling stresses and irrepressible urges to runaway, I am reminded that someone didn't and gave it all for me. When trust gives too much responsibility to bear, I throw it up there because i know its in safe hands.

To my fellow shep: Its not that i don't know what your saying. I understand but I'm not stuck at the point anymore. I know what i need to do and let me do it for once.

I am definitely not the best, not even close, I'm so flawed that if i were a sponge, light shines through every hole. The things i do, may not be the best solution, maybe my stubborness adds to it. But i know that if i trust, and if i give it my 100%, I'll feel at ease because i know i did my best.

When Your love touched my heart again on this day, I teared. For I remember your great love.

At the Cross, I bow my knees,
For the blood you shed for me,
there's no greater love than this.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Easter Service

No one can replace it for me... this irreplicable feeling, this irregular familiarity but strange calm and joy. Exactly why i made the decision, i can't really remember but i know the moment that "yes" came out, regret has never touched me for one second. I couldn't help but to tear when Pastor Shirley sang "Why", imagining myself in the place of the little girl, like all of us are... and just wondering, why, why, why... why did You have to die? We know its for the better good, but I cannot help but love His quiet strength, His patient drive and His amazing compassion. Why did people have to mock Him? Why did people have to strip Him of everything? Simply because He needed to know. What being us felt like. When i think of Him taking pain that we've taken to the extreme, I can't help but feel touched yet sorrowful yet proud, because i can say my Father is like that and He didn't just say or tell everyone to be good, but He showed people how to be good and died for it.

Life is never easy. Some people take it as that and give up. Others go on and want to conquer it taking satisfaction in being tough, but finding just more ambition at the end of the road. We stumble all the time, wanting this and that, never really satisfied. But what happens when you find a path which may be a little bit smoother, yet a lil bit tougher. Oxymoronic it may sound yet uncannily true. Because when we have some help, obstacles become smoother. After each obstacle, the next seems less challenging than it might have been before. If you were given this path, could you trust and walk it, rather than stumbling along the thorny path which would hurt all the way. I'd just drive on the smoother road, and face the obstacles as they come because i know that nothing is too difficult. Even when i worry and pine, in my heart, i know I'll be able to get over it. I will.

Steamboat and Zhenfa was quite erm... weird. The food made me feel queasy hahaa! The highlight was definitely the arcade which CE2 was laughing and crazily screaming while playing around. They always make me feel at ease when I'm with them. No need for putting up any front, just always simply be yourself. Quoting JX, "laugh until stomach pain", I think my abs are coming out larh :) I love CE2 and I love the person who brought them to me :) Thanks for being in my life... wouldn't know what i'd have done without you guys :)

Searching my heart for that insecurity and that worrying streak of lack of self control. Never want to hurt anyone with it and never meant to. I'm sorry if i have but I'm not perfect but i'm still a work-in-progress :)

I dunno if you'll ever read this my grass-eating, fluffy, white sheep haha! But thank you for being there and i loved that talk we had the other day at pastamania. I think it cleared up a lot and I'm really proud and happy to see you walking forward strongly :) Thanks for always being someone i could count on and someone who was and will be there :)

As i see another tough phase of my life coming up, I can't help but wonder what lies in store. Already i feel my hold slipping away, but i am sustained. I know i can hang on. In my weakness, I'm am strong in You. I may not know how to solve the problems yet, but no matter what i WILL pull through. Just to trust in that plan.

No one knows me like YOU do.
No matter who leaves my side, i know you will never do so.
I will never want to leave yours as well :)

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

I haven't slept earlier than 12 for this entire week or the week before i think. The fatigue of waking up every morning seems to catch up with me only until the night where i am once again caught by my daily habits of sitting in front of the comp, doing hwk, slacking and talking to people.

Somehow I miss communicating with someone.

This morning, another someone brightened up my day with a simple message :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TRACY!

Haha, our local photographer and somehow a person who ends up making a lot of decisions. I still remember there was once we were going to have a class outing and she was the one going, ok lets go here, because everyone was so indecisive. Then she's been the "boss" as Yeekai put it at that time, it seems vivid because it seemed quite apt at that time HAHA :D But thank God for putting her in my life and in my PW group too, where she's been superly efficient and our one and only secretary :D who continuously reminds us to keep to deadlines :D

Thanks for making my life so much better, the "so much" is an underrated term :) because now i know Him :)

STJ with A13 tmr, somehow i'm looking forward to it.

RR for indivs next sunday. Let's kick ass.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Guess i haven't been posting much with lots of things just zooming past me.

Just really glad that we managed to get everything straight today and really hope you'll commit more soon :) So glad your growing so well tho you will never see this probably :P But you won't believe how it made my day

Just realised that i have tons of GP and math to finish. Had fun at Pastamania and Gelare with CG pples and it was so funny :P Haha the rate at which we devoured those half px waffles were nuts like those fastest fingers first kind! Its damn nice larh! Now on, every tuesday is a waffle day HAHAHA! :)

4 more days :) I'm so glad that YOU are coming on saturday :)

Been reading The Case for Faith by Lee Strobel and its been a wonderful read. Its been answering questions which I'd never thought of or never been able to answer and served a something to strengthen my faith so very much! :) How some things science can never explain... And how Strobel manages to show the ways where our Creator has delicately made us and let us survive in this complex world.

Its hard when the whole world seems to be doing ok and your not exactly faring v well. But when I start wondering to myself, I can only hear You say, keep going keep going. Salt and Light. Not time for stumbles, only time to trust, ask for help and keep walking on.