Saturday, May 05, 2007

Responsibilities.

I never knew they caused me to hold on to so much, and feel tired so much. Today, He told me to put it all down. When i did for that moment, it felt like a load was lifted and the cool air seemed light. No worries, no pride, no thoughts of what to do next, only with eyes fixed one place, with ears listening to one song, with a heart focused on one thing.

It was indescribable, it felt like I walked back into day one and i just couldn't help but to tear. Serving is good but sometimes serving makes you too tied up to look in the correct places when your focus goes wrong. Its so easy to become like Mary. But do you have enough focus to be like Martha?

I asked for so much today. I haven't felt this way for ages. Svc touched my heart, changed my soul, and God spoke clearly to me. The tingling feeling, the cool air and the voices and one very different voice. Mix of feelings, weariness and finally, just a passion. Just one passion.

Fighting pride so hard. The subconscious pride where you can hardly get rid of, but resist against. Focusing on shielding it all out within those shields which shield me from things tangible and intangible alike.

I feel like i stepped into Nexus for the first time again.

I love CE2 the mad bunch of people with me :)

Thank you ALL so very much for being in my family :)