Thursday, May 04, 2006
Thursday, May 4th

Caregroup was fun today! :D We did the usual games, worship and holy comm and it was reallie meaningful :D I reallie wanna thank GOD for pulling me through this week x.x it's been hard with the fever and the flu and i reallie wanna thank Him for making me feel better :)

I feel myself get over you...
and i feel myself again....
and i know that i can make it thru anything...
Coz I Don't Need You.

I really dunno how i feel.
When i see < >, i just wanna say hi. And just talk. It just seems weird. The warm fuzzy feeling just won't go away. I told myself not to, coz its just not possible and it would only make me think more and feel sort of blue abt it. Maybe its just growing up. I don't know. I only know that the bittersweet feeling is reallie annoying sometimes. I wish i had a twin who knew what i was thinking. How could would dat be? Or even a sister or brother who could give me some advice...

I dunno who to turn to sometimes. Who i can trust. Trust is a weird friend on this road of Life.

Sometimes i stumble over words, afraid i'll say the wrong thing, sometimes i don't know how to react to people's words and i make jokes seem too serious or my replies seem just lame. Maybe i'm too concious of myself. I lack confidence perhaps. I remember Sudave told me, just say what is in your mind and don't try to think too much abt it during the pub speaking course. It meant something to me. I need to work on it i guess. I reallie admire some people who can think up funny and smooth replies coolly, some people like dat are Yee Kai ( our fac head :D) and Kenneth, who is natural at making unknowingly funny remarks :P. To another extent Guobin, coz he's cool when it comes to the crunch but he can really do funny and say funny things in situations where you least expect it.

Today when i was praying during CG. A few things suddenly dawned to me. Firstly, Giving. I can't tell how but it came in to me dat praying was so much more about giving, not only to people but to God. The second thing was Patience and Peace. To always keep a cool head. To wait and not rush.

Ever since p6, I've been extroverted. I practically hungered acceptance. But i talked and expressed myself till it almost seemed natural to. But it was a blessing yet a curse. I lost my patience, to keep myself from thinking before diving into matters. To think before i said. To shut up and listen. I need to find that patience back.

Self-control. Patience. Peace. Thought.

Study. Read. Train.

Music. Pray.

Life.

Life ain't simple. Never was. Never will be.

Random post.

Thots in dots.

Post later.