Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Birthday = scolding = i'm an idiot = what fun....

Horrible 16th birthday.... One not to be remembered....
Mood: :extremely depressed :'(! Sad:( Angry :@

Experiences~~: Haven't blogged for two days now.... And now I'm blogging for Valentine's day. Which happens to be my 16th birthday.... Which happens to be the worst birthday in 16 years of my life. A day at school couldn't start any worse... After taking photos with my dad's digital camera of the guys from the lit class, I didn't notice the cap was missing. oh the fun don't you think? In the Afternoon, i strolled aimlessly in Bishan and Toa payoh, trying to get myself something for a new year ahead. Zui was there and he was nice enuff to treat me to lunch :P Thanks a lot buddy. Well after that it was lonely, wandering through the streets, but i didn't mind after all I'm sorta used to it lol...
So evening came and i was weary and tired, so i returned to my grandma's at TP, hoping that at night at least there would be something to smile about. But of course, i didn't get what i expected. Once my dad and mom entered the door of my grannys, my dad immediately checked his Digi- cam, guess what? He immediately asked for the cap which i searched frantically up down left and right for it.... Of course i couldn't find it, so while i was trying to find it, he started going on about his, " Ahh forget it, he's always like dat, Always losing my stuff when i warned him this morning. He always so messy, can't find his stuff at home, always makes things gets lost." Blah blah blah, in that accusing tone. I checked with everyone whose class i went to and couldn't find any clues so of course i apologised and said I'd try to find it tmr. But it of course didn't stop there. My dad went at it again. " You won't borrow my stuff ever again un til you find that cap! Don't even think abt borrowing anything!"
As if I wouldn't find it for him. He had duty the next day so he and my mum went back to pack some stuff for me and my bro...

I admit it was my fault because I'm always such a klutz at whatever i do... I tried so hard to take care of it and i remember putting the cap in the case but it just didn't stay there. But it had to come to this didn't it? You guys might think that its a little childish for me to get all upset about all this but hello? wake up call? what day is it? i don't think anyone remembers. No one tries to talk to me or nething, everyone at my granny's was like, " It your fault wad." Of all people, i thought my parents would be the ones most likely to wish me at least a happy birthday. I always respected them and i don't wanna disappoint them at all. But of course not. No you just dish out a scolding like that. I didn't get anything from them, nothing at all.... No cakes, no pressies, no wishes.... just a scolding after a day at school. Plus i have a test the next day, do they care? I can't bring myself to think so.

I stormed out with my notes and stuff, I wanted to get away and maybe do some studying. but i just couldn't keep those tears from falling could i? I thought they'd at least noticed what day it was... at least not start the evening off by giving me grumbles of disappointment. I cried.... its been a long time since i did that... i didn't cry out or anything but i just couldn't stop my tears...

I snapped at Eugene over sms's that night... I was so sorry about it coz he gave me the only present i had this year. A blue carabina. We wrapped V day pressies for some pple at 10pm. Thanks to him, i felt a little better when i left. At least i could smile a little... again.

Today: It wasn't much better this morning. I passed her a pressie today and way, man. NY has some weird pple. I've had all sorts of people sms'ing me. Her frenz mainly. It sorta annoyed me. Does giving someone something mean I'm hitting on her? Whatever it is ok, she has a bf keep off me now..... I dunno man, screwed up my physics test as well. i dunno what else can go wrong. I Dread seeing my dad again.... i'll just buy him a new camera with my new year's cash to keep it quits. I don't wanna owe him anything. I can't help it but I'm angry with him....

Thoughts** : I dunno. Sorry to all the pple I've snapped at this few days. its been sorta gruelling. I've got tests littered all over and I can't help thinking my parents think my birthday is a small matter Compared to a camera cap. My life isn't worth much more than that huh? I guess.... thanks to Eugene, Charm and YXY as well to all the pple to gave me a B day greeting. Daniel, Longkuan, Trixie, Kai Han.... yeah i guess that's about all... Got a lit test tmr on Macbeth... I'm screwed....

Feelings: Feeling stressed.... tired....depressed... confused....I don't know. Its been weird days.... Can't help feeling that lady Luck doesn't reallie lyk me right now. I hope she comes back soon. My heart breaks... My mind laments and I am alone.