Monday, November 20, 2006

To tell u the truth, fanatic is a word which disturbs me, coz a fanatic follows without thinking. But i'm not one. Because i know You are right for me and the basis is the countless times you've blessed me big or small, in ways i knew or never knew. The way You looked and me and whispered in my heart, " I forgive you.", which made me new again with a new purpose. The way You are with me wherever I go and support me in good times or bad.

DcTalk had a song which went like this- " What would people do if i told them that i was a Jesus freak? What would people do if they find out its true?"

My answer is the same as the song's. "I dont really care if they label me a Jesus freak
There aint no disguising the truth."

Thanks Kat & JH for reminding me of who i am and reminding me that isn't this what being a child of God is about :)

Today, we did karate at training and it was rather fun to tell the truth altho my right arm couldn't exert any force wadsoever x.x. The shoulder is still swollen and the elbow left unhealed. I realised that food is a temptation that fakes your mind and body. Blahh... becoz i ate some fries which were like oily when i was like quite full, i just had a whim and threw away the rest after a few bits and went to run twice up and down my 12 storey flat. 12 storeys may not seem much but when you do it once or twice your thighs get cramps x.x. Its not a bad workout considering 10 minutes leave you sweating and panting. Left me feeling like i trained a lil at least today.

Piano was alright, though i was a lil regretful dat i was a lil impatient during scales. I was shutting down and it was tiring. I didn't play up my scales much coz i invested all my time on my pieces. Its quite hurting to see that the pieces only improved a lil but my scales go down the drain this badly. I wasn't expecting it coz i had a grip over scales before. I was tired and frustrated sigh... I will just try better.

I look back to You and ask You, am i biased? Am i treating one better than another? Am i asking and doing the right thing?

Its one of those, i feel lonely but am not alone moments again. I realised that i haven't had a proper heart to heart conversation with anyone that i wanted to yet. I haven't caught up with anyone. I haven't planned anything. All i'm looking forward to is Breakthrough camp coz its my only break from everything.

Sometimes i just wanna run away from everything, but the responsibility is too big and i know that running away solves nothing. Sooner or later, someone's gotta do something. Plus whom shall i fear. I've got myself on the right side :) and i realised that its much easier chasing One nowadays, everything feels a lot lighter :)

Haha, people coming home today! Welcome home, choir pple and sheep and yy! :D

I'm wasting the hols away, everyone else is busy, gosh what the heck is going on! :(